I am the Veggie Monster

Posted on March 19, 2013

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I am not gonna elaborate on WHY, from January 1st 2013, I decided to go back to being a vegetarian. But I must say that people’s reactions to my vegetarianism is  baffling. It’s like they think I am mutating.

May be I am. I am turning into a giant spinach leaf with a halo on my head, and it scares them. So they defend themselves by deprecating me.

The funniest things non-vegetarians say to me include, but not limited to:

1. “Oh, poor you!”

Dear non vegetarians, I do not have cancer. If anyone should be pitied, it’s probably all those animals you’re killing.

2. “Can your husband still eat meat?”

Erm, no. I whip him if he tries. And for the record, no one asks my husband, “Does your wife HAVE to eat meat, because you do?”

3. “WHY!”

…Because I am a ruthless b*&^%! One would think I am talking about including small portions of arsenic in my daily diet!

4. “Oh you’re becoming boring!”

This came from my own husband. Ya I know honey, what a deal-breaker! I am unrecognizable.

5. “Is it because you need to lose weight?”

This one stumps me. Not only is this person calling me fat, but s/he is also insulting their own intelligence. I could be a vegetarian who survives on pizza and soda, you know!

This brings me to my own (surprising) defensiveness! I think I am even apologetic for being vegetarian. Today, someone asked me, “If I may ask, why did you choose to become a vegetarian again?” I began confidently, “You know I grew up vegetarian.” And then began to get flustered, “Um, my mother was a Jain, and her religion teaches non violence…and of course the whole global warming thing…” My voice became soft and disappeared inside my throat and I am sure I didn’t even say the whole sentence out loud. I realized I was embarrassed. I felt like I was sermonizing and judging the questioner, who is a hardcore non-vegetarian. And her response. “It’s okay. I grew up in San Francisco. I am used to this kind of thing.” 

What the hell! One would think I am a raging lunatic looking for acceptance in this crazy world. Perhaps I am.

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Posted in: randomness