Had a Bit of Mom Today

Posted on August 11, 2011

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This post was originally written on April 14th 2011, while I was living in Ann Arbor, MI. Never posted it. But today I can. So here.

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It’s been so long since I lost mom to Alzheimer’s. I was very young. I barely have any happy memories of her, with her, about her. But she and Shakti Ma, the Goddess, I remember.

Mummy used to do the maala (chanting with prayer beads) of “Om Shri Shakti Ma, Jai Shri Shakti Ma” twice a day. She had green, glow-in-the-dark prayer beads. Sometimes, it would be late at night and I’d be sleeping and I would awaken, just enough to see the green glowing beads in the dark. I’d be reassured. Both the Mas were there for protection.

Why am I reminiscing? Today was the last day of Navratri. I normally don’t care about Navratri or don’t even know when it comes and goes. You see, after mom fell sick, I wanted nothing to do with Navratri or Shakti Ma. But 2 days ago, my husband got an email from a classmate and his wife saying they were having a pooja and lunch to mark the end of Navratri. My husband had classes today, so he asked me if I would go. I just said yes, I like the wife of the said classmate. I didn’t think anything more about it.

As I reached the house today, decked in all my finery, I could hear the patth being read in Hindi and automatically all the words began to get translated into Gujarati in my head and I heard my mother reading out those words. The aarti (hymn) was being sung in Hindi, but I heard mummy singing it in Gujarati.

There were no tears, no choking up. I just felt infinitely close to mom.

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