The Praying Ego!

Posted on February 20, 2011

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The only thing that holds me together is prayer. In the last few years, I have seen how praying has helped not just Roberto and me, but I feel our prayers have helped many, many, many people. This post is an example of how I began to put my faith in prayers and God.

As the years have gone by, Roberto and I have prayed for ourselves, and we have prayed for others. We’ve seen lovers who were in turmoil as their parents weren’t approving the match feel relief as one fine day they just said “go ahead!”. We’ve seen three different marriages heal at different levels. We’ve had our friends find jobs. These are just some instances that come to mind.

Praying has become a habit, a need, a saving grace. Yet, I feel smug! Praying is supposed to make us feel humble and clean. And here I am, sometimes feeling proud of the fact that I am blessed; I can pray to God and she will listen and heal and help whomever I choose to pray for! And that is where I began to feel afraid.

My prayers are NOT answered because I am good. They are answered because God is good. I had to stop my ego from making my prayers about me! Now, I consciously try and add as many people as I can to our praying list every night. The way to break this ego trip (for me) is to add people I am not really fond of on the list. I know someone who is undergoing so much pain right now, and I don’t really have any connection with her. She’s someone who’s in fact affected my life negatively in the past (without intending to). But today as I pray for her, I feel a connection to her. I want her to be healed. And in this prayer, I have healed. I have forgiven her and I have forgiven myself for carrying on a grudge for 3 years!

Prayers have taught me one thing – pray for those who hurt you, they need your prayers as much as you need them. You can read about this in this post – which is actually an epiphany for me!

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