Letting Go and Inner Cleansing

Posted on July 22, 2008

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When I was trying to get rid of my anger, nothing I did seemed to help. But when I started meditating, I realised that anger was only a symptom, and not the entire disease. It was only the outward manifestation of something lying dormant within me. It is a small 3-letter word, that can weigh 3 tons and create thrice as many problems in the lives of people. E.G.O – the need to be affirmed by someone else; expectations from others, mostly unrealistic and which leads to stubbornness. My Ego wanted others to accept that I was right. And the only thing all these led to were disappointment and then A.N.G.E.R. “You came late! How dare you treat me like that!”, “You’d rather have dinner with your cousins than talk to me over the phone – fine, you ungrateful swine!”, “Oh! I hate weekends, so overrated.” Till finally, the only thing you can really feel is really angry 🙂

When I began practicing the “Meditation on Twin Hearts”, I began to experience a peace. This meditation requires the practitioner to bless the earth with good things. This worked out for me, working in the social development field, people like me tend to be sensitive to the world’s problems. So I blessed the earth with peace, love, abundance and spirituality. I blessed people with love, hope, faith, friendship, patience and tolerance. I began to think of all the people I knew who were in trouble and I blessed them with determination and resilience. And slowly, I began to display tiny flashes of those as well.

But the practice was still not regular and there would be patches of 5-7 days when I wouldn’t be able to gather the motivation to wake up just 30 mins earlier and meditate. So the effect would wear off. And the anger would resurface. Then one day, somehow, I realised that I had meditated for an entire week and the week had been fantastic. I had met my deadlines with ease, and I had managed to keep my cool in most situations. It was then that I pledged that I wanted to be this way for good.

So I began to practice everyday. I realised that if nothing else, it was creating a “culture of discipline” that my boss keeps harping about. And now, even in a shaky moment, I can withdraw into myself and connect to the peace which has become a permanent resident in myself.

Letting go of a fight is now a small pleasure, it makes me stronger. It helps me cool the other person down. Letting go does not mean admitting defeat. Letting go means not allowing emotions and instincts get the better of you. One can always come back to particular topic and discuss it gracefully. One should know when to accept that the two parties need to agree to disagree and move on.

The deep breathing taught in Yoga as pranayam is a very important technique to maintaining a bodily and emotional balance. It takes in clean, purified air – so when I take a deep breath in – I imagine taking in clean and peaceful air inside and when I breathe out I imagine all the stress and negativity come out.

Method: Obstruct one nostril with a finger and breathe deeply through the other while counting 7. Hold for one count. Now obstruct the nostril through which you breathed in, and exhale from the other nostril. Obstruct each nostril in turn and breathe in and out in this way. If done 21 times in 3 batches of 7 each, pranayam can cure anger issues, sinusitis and migraine problems for good. But regular practice is the key – coupled with meditation to achieve inner stillness, this a powerful instrument to lead a harmonious life.

I want my life do be peaceful inside and out…So be it, so it is.

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