The Final Moment of Choice

Posted on June 22, 2008


They say that when one is about to die, one is visited by angels or, if one is lucky enough, by God himself.

Samara was sitting by herself on her circular bed. She had a syringe full of heroin next to her. A bottle of her favourite vodka on the floor nearby and she stared at the picture of Jesus Christ in front of her.

She took a swig of the vodka, never taking her eyes off Christ. She popped a pill, washed it down with some more vodka. Again, her eyes never left Christ. And finally, she took the syringe in hand, she felt pain as she even thought of taking her eyes off HIM only enough to inject herself. But she told herself it needed to be done.

All done, she sat against the soft pillow and peered at the picture. Her mind was thoughtless – not clear, not foggy, but uncluttered. She was aware as each of her body parts began to hibernate and shut down. She wondered how much longer she would be able to enjoy this bliss, before passing out. She was sure, she was going to heaven.

“Good evening, Samara, my child!”

“Hmmm…so is this how I am going to die?” She asked a little flatly.

“Is this how you want to die?” He asked dispassionately, irking Samara.

“Well, yes, I have made my choice. Is this your choice for me?” She challenged.

“Actually, it isn’t. I imagined you to become a preacher-teacher like me.” He said matter-of-factly.

“Whoa! A crack addict like me?” She bellowed…

“Why yes! Anyone can become like me if they want.” He answered a little surprised, for he had thought everyone knew that!

“I can’t become like you.” She said, a little deflated and defeated.

“And why not?” He inquired, now a little curious.

“I have already done so much harm to my body, so much time has passed. My body is beyond repair now.” she replied dejectedly.

“Honey, it isn’t your body that you really need to worry about! Are you saying you want to live?” He asked a little hopefully.

“Do I have a choice?” She asked doubtfully.

“Oh, well! You have about 23 minutes to decide. If you need to change your mind, let me know. I will come by and rescue you.” Said he and prepared to leave.

“Where are you going? Won’t you stay and help me decide? She was afraid now.

“Oh, I just realised that I have 52, 218 more people to visit and let them know that they have a choice. I will be back before you know it.”

Samara survived, harmless, the doctors were surprised, but she wasn’t. That night 50, 360 people made a choice to die.

— Henri, June 22nd, Sunday.

Still trying to make sense of your choice darling, we all miss you!

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